Friday morning balls

Nothing like settling into a bit of shite talk on a Friday.

Blurred Lines...

No, not that rapey shite.

"What? Nothing in the slightest wrong with this picture."

The lines of reality and satire are starting to blur if the latest headlines from respected newspaper The Independent and Irish journalism satire Waterford Whispers News are to be believed.

See if you can guess which article came from which paper before clicking the link:

LINK>>Pope to investigate priests who posed nude for gay websites

LINK>>Queen cheats on her first tweet

LINK>>Incredible pics of twins show difference between smokers and non smokers

LINK>>One Direction criticised by PETA

LINK>>Woman faces media ridicule for attempting to conform to media beauty standards

LINK>>Heineken sales down as dickheads migrate to craft beers

LINK>>Woman sets fire to her flatmate after he throws out her spaghetti and meatballs

LINK>>Close resemblances found between South African and Irish justice systems

LINK>>Young women should be excused from politics to enjoy Tinder

LINK>>Woman dragged by neck as scarf gets caught in train doors

LINK>>Ebola ruled out after woman's symptoms carefully typed into Google

Yeah, so it's not as easy as you might think.

Here's a picture of Gary Busey to help get Miley and Robin Thicke out of your head.

Sex, Drugs, and Sausage Rolls

So I updated my Tinder profile...

Twinking Out

Sometimes you just have to buy new and entirely different bed linen, and then take a picture of yourself looking like a complete gimp.

It's just what you do.

G-Man: The Early Years

Not saying I believe any of that 'Ebola is a product of the US Government designed for population control' conspiracy theory horseshit, but sometimes they really don't do themselves any favours:

"I am so fucking unfazed right now"- Civil Servant with trousers specially fitted to contain his massive balls.

LINK>>Clipboard Man and the HazMat Guys: The Ebola Adventure

They could nearly be a crime fighting team travelling around in a minivan with a dog, or a really crappy 80's hair-metal band.

The guy obviously understands how Ebola actually works, spread through bodily fluids like blood, sweat, tears, and semen (now THAT is a danger shag) but still, that guy must carry his balls around in a wheelbarrow.

Or else is preparing himself for a trans-cosmic adventure in his later days...

"Look into my dreamy eyes, they've seen things."

Some Steampunk Sexiness

Because I'm doing the payroll and am bored waiting for pension assessments to run.

Dave's birthday

I'm not sure how I ended up looking like Craig's boyfriend, but at least I've got a full Femme Fatale pose going on.

Stay Classy Portadown

National reverence for the fallen..? Nah, it'll be a bit of craic.

Saturday morning gaming

A challenge of raw intellect.

The bots are getting smarter...

Her opening shot was "Hey, you are cute."

Two more months and they nuke the major cities.

Spiders On Drugs

And the message kids, don't do drugs with spiders.

Roy Keane on questionable facial hair...

I'm approaching this from the perspective of someone who cares exactly fuck all about football.

Roy Keane, the Mad Irishman, or Arsehole as I've also heard him described has got himself in a position of relative power in the game and so naturally he'll want to emulate someone also known to have wielded great power at one time.

I'm just questioning his choice in world leader to emulate...

I'm planning my attack- Roy Keane

Funny story...- Saddam Hussein

Really though, when you have the ability to grow a moustache you have absolutely no excuse not to go for the full Teddy.

I punched a bear so hard today it shit freedom.
-Teddy Roosevelt

My friends, intelligencia

Excelsior!!!

Pornhub's Erection Goes Down

Penis jokes!

LINK>> Pornhub SFW ad in Times Square comes down

Writing

In case anyone thinks that I've been quite on the writing front during the interim of blessed silence on this blog here's a link to another blog I've been keeping a few jottings stored on (largely scratching the surface of what I have actually written).

Am currently working on a novel entitled Puritan (haven't abandoned the Mana story, it still gets the odd rattle too).

LINK>>My First Chapters, a collection of bits and pieces.

I'm going down, I'm yelling TINDER!!!

So it seems according to Tinder I am a man destined to find love at a price...

   

  

 

 

   

I'm going to Mars...

.... in what might be remembered as the saddest way possible, but I've done this kind of thing before with comets and probes.

And then there was that time I got ordained because I was drunk.

Phoenix Down

BOOM!!!

Blog resurrection!

Works on everything but plot holes.

Will work on the design and try to put something actually worth reading on here instead of the usual blog drivel, because nothing is so important as the opinion of someone with so much time on their hands that they have a blog.

You know, unless you can actually get paid for it.